Jane magazine used to have a feature every month called MakeUnder. It’s just what it sounds like – it’s a make over, but for people who need to tone it down. They did Pam Anderson once and I was absolutely flabbergasted at how cute she actually was without all the lashes, bronzer, fluffed up hair, etc. Did you know that Pam Anderson has some cute freckles?? Where’s Jane Pratt now that Christina Aguilera needs her the most??
I love Christina Aguilera. And I LOVE make up. But someone (I’m looking at YOU, Jane Pratt!) needs to have a sit-down with Xtina and tell her about herself. I’ve spent hours of my life Googling and YouTubing Christina Aguilera performances and interviews (Don’t look at me like that, Judgy McJudgerson! I love her.). I’ve sung along with her at the top of my lungs from beginning to end of her CDs. She is one of the few artists I won’t even attempt at karaoke because she is so good and I’m so not worthy. I’ve seen her in concert and afterward hung out at a gross, smokey dive bar in her hometown of Wexford because I heard she went there once after a show. I love her! I love her I love her I love her. But she looks a hot drag queen mess. So much make up! So many extensions! Remember when she did Back to Basics and had kind of a retro throw-back style? Loved it. Remember the Hope for Haiti fundraiser? She looked FANTASTIC. Her hair was awesome and her makeup, clothes and accessories subtle.
I was watching her last night on The Voice (a show that I kind of love right now, by the way) and I had to avert my eyes more than once because I feared I would see a nipple pop out or god forbid, a hair extension fly free and kill someone. She definitely should follow the take one thing off before leaving the house rule. Actually, I should specify that she should take one thing off when it comes to hair extensions, accessories and makeup. As far as clothing is concerned she’s better off putting on more article of clothing before she leaves the house. Like pants.