Fellas. Please stop with the long and bushy beards. Please! Growing your beard as long as ZZ Top doesn’t impress anyone. All ladies can think about is how dirty, gross, and possibly filled with food and gnats they are. Actually that is a good test. If a fly could hide in your beard, it’s too long and unruly. You want to have a beard? That’s cool! Just keep it neat and tidy and cropped fairly close to your adorable face.
Even worse? When you insist on having that long-ass bushy beard along with long-ass bushy hair. It’s like wearing whorish eyeliner along with whorish lipstick. You can’t do both at once! Pick one and go with it. It’s one or the other! If I wanted to fuck a grizzly bear, I’d fuck a grizzly bear. Trim your beard. Get a haircut.